悲伤打断

For most of 2020, 新型冠状病毒肺炎 has assaulted our economy 和 our cultural practices.

它已经积极地进入了 是美国最主要的死亡原因. 与 每天有超过1000人死亡一些预测认为 12月死亡人数超过30万. Deaths by other causes are simultaneously increasing; a surge in mental health problems 当许多人获得的机会有限时 卫生保健. We will study the long-term repercussions of 新型冠状病毒肺炎 for decades to come. But we already know it has one: an increase in the number of bereaved families in our nation where 每14个孩子中就有1个在18岁前失去孩子. 最近的分析表明 每一例新型冠状病毒肺炎死亡，就有9个亲密家庭受到影响. 这些哀悼者开始了他们不确定的悲伤之旅 our primary rituals 和 practices are interrupted by social 和 physical isolation迫使我们尽可能地使用现有的工具 不知道所有的答案. 

在过去的几年里, behavioral health professionals have transitioned from linear stage models of grief to more open, 以及面向多维过程的方法. 失去亲人的, the journey towards healing rarely follows a direct sequence of steps that arrive at a destination, but rather encompasses a multitude of experiences that can vary by the hour 和 evolve over a lifetime. Along the 道路, grieving individuals contend with 和 manage a vast array of grief reactions. Social distancing restrictions are likely to compound these reactions 和 complicate the process. It is important to acknowledge 和 validate this interference while creating space for a supportive mourning practice. 为了孩子, caring adults play an essential role in establishing a connected 和 safe environment for grieving. 心理学家威廉·沃登提出 任务的悲伤 provide an underst和able framework for reviewing how our current restrictions may impact newly bereaved youth 和 道路s to help. 

任务1:接受死亡的现实和永恒.

医院, 卫生保健设施, 和 funeral homes are following state 和 local guidelines that limit visitors. That means many families are unable to be with their loved one when they die or with their body afterwards. 传统的仪式，如守灵, 坐在湿婆, 生命庆典可能被取消, 推迟或甚至儿童. Although it is a per儿子al decision to include 孩子们 participate in these practices, the experiences offer concrete opportunities to grasp the reality of the death. 悲伤的仪式开启了关于 死了意味着什么 和 help combat magical thinking or the belief that their thoughts influenced or caused the situation. 为了代替这些习俗，家庭可能要考虑一下 填补空虚的方法 by reviewing 与发展相适应的 books or videos that realistically tackle death can provide a proxy 和 establish a common language for future discussions.

任务2:给所有的 认知，情绪，身体和行为的悲伤反应.

我们很早就学会了将自己的反应归类为积极或消极, 好或坏, 有益或有害, 而且经常,当我们压抑消极情绪时，消极情绪就会增强, 坏, 或伤害. This avoidance typically has short-term gains with long-term consequences including anxiety, 抑郁症, 和关系困难. 失去亲人的青年, 必须有时间去探索他们思想的各个方面, 感情, 身体的反应, 以及与失去有关的行为, whether that is through quiet contemplation or engaging with social supports. When we are confined at home together without direct access to 朋友 和 relatives, 经历悲伤的时间可能不多了. This environment can underst和ably lead to less patience 和 shorter tempers. 通过模拟悲伤接受和自我同情, 看护者可以开始有意地介绍 活动 和 对话 培养协调和传达同理心. Ultimately, 孩子们 need to know that they are seen, they are heard, 和 they are loved.

任务3:适应没有死去的人的生活.

当家庭经历了死亡的损失, they are encouraged to maintain regular routines 和 provide consistent discipline. 但在隔离期间找到节奏是很有挑战性的. Overnight, 新型冠状病毒肺炎 changed our world in 道路s many never imagined possible. We went from the overscheduled hustle of school 和 jobs to m和ated stay-at-home orders with remote work 和 distance learning. 健康的界限很难维持. 没有什么感觉 “正常”. 利用现有的家庭习惯(例如.g., brushing teeth, chores, bedtimes) 和 adopting new structure 和 practices (e.g., 在线作业, weeknight themes) can help families reach the goal of establishing security 和 predictability. 尽可能地, caregivers should protect young 孩子们 from the adult-sized worries that are prevalent in a world filled with additional uncertainty while answering their questions in a 与发展相适应的 道路. 当孩子成熟, their questions about the death will evolve in t和em with their cognitive 和 emotional growth. Caregivers should prepare to revisit aspects of the death 和 the loss by meeting these reflections with openness 和 curiosity.     

Task 4: Establish an enduring connection to the per儿子 who died while developmentally moving forward.

Grieving youth fear losing the memory of their loved one—the sound of their laughter, 他们头发的味道, 他们拥抱的感觉. 他们珍视录像、衣服、洗漱用品——任何有意义的东西 人的本质，并保持他们在日常生活中. These mementos help maintain a connection to the deceased 和 open doors for creating meaning from the life they lived. It is important to remind bereaved youth that they will al道路s maintain their relationship to the deceased as a brother, 妹妹, 儿子, 女儿, 侄女, 侄子, 孙子, 或无数其他联系. 问问他们以后想如何尊重这段关系. This task may be the least disrupted by our current conditions 和 may be bolstered by our extended time at home together. 讨论集中在孩子们从死者身上学到什么, 他们看到他们如何对待别人, 是什么让他们如此特别，也有助于他们的遗产. 你将如何把它们带到你的未来? The process assists the bereaved child in integrating the loss into their life 和 encourages healthy adjustment. 

在未来的几年里, we will try to measure the significance of the coronavirus for our economy, 教育系统, 社会规范, 和情感上的幸福. We should also have the fortitude to break down aspects of our death-avoidant culture 和 establish stronger systems of care that more fully meet the needs of the bereaved—the spouses, 父母, 兄弟姐妹, 孩子们, 朋友, 邻居, 同事, 还有许多人深受损失的影响.